With "Hey you." you can't distinguish me from an entire crowd if you want me in particular, but maybe you'll get lucky. With "Hey what's your face." you probably won't be learning very much about me, I won't be in the mood to share. With "Hey! You with the... uh... you! Over there!" you might get my attention, but you'd have to know where I am first.

It starts at cogito ergo sum, and if it ends there then it's impossible for me to be a character worth anyone's time. Why would I tell you that I don't have a name?

It makes me invaluable I suppose. I instantly appear more intriguing because I've somehow got something to hide, it shows faith in myself. It makes it easier to imagine I'm self reliant, that I'd be just as well if we never met. Or that I'm wise enough to not bother making sense, that I know you wouldn't understand either way.

It wouldn't matter whether I'm an asset or pose a threat. Everything you could get from me you can't get from someone else. But if everything is priceless then it can't be traded for anything, can it? If someone offers all they're worth, gives themselves in love, then it's because I value myself enough to never settle for less.

I'd have to be making a point of how willing I am to starve in the name of, well, whatever I'm trying to do really. From the start I'd be like a crack cook that's selling for way more than the competition, showing a strong conviction that implies my stuff is stronger than all the rest. (These allegories have a lot of crack in them, I don't smoke crack.)

Okay, so I've got to ruffle a few feathers or else the only precedent I'll set is for how low a person can get. Why should you know my name? One of the only ways I can make this viable is if you don't know my name, but here's the funny thing...

You already know my name, it's all over the place.

I'm Owen Larkin. Someone else named Owen Larkin might say something that seems similar but they mean something completely different. Sure, in theory, you could point at my "I'm Owen Larkin." and go "That one!" ...but this is a realm of search algorithms. Only someone who adds overdubs to a search query with my name has a chance to find me.

If you're testing that before I have a Wikipedia or Encyclopedia Dramatica article... you're tilting at windmills my friend. At some point you'll need to lift your head up from this screen and look at the path that's ahead of you. I'm the nothing in particular you'll soon forget. I could bear the meaning of life on this ephemeral face that disappears when you look away, and you could swivel your head at any moment.

But that's just how it is in the real world. What you're probably looking for is what I'd dream to be. It would be nice to shapeshift, to write into the fabric of reality like a god. Everyone who sees me could see a really hot walking vtuber avatar in my place, and then they'd think I was always like that. Why should I ground you into my reality?

Suddenly I'd be like a type cast actor, all of my roles determined by what people come to expect from seeing my face. For trying to escape it I'd be treated like I hate myself, like I never wanted success to begin with. At the end of the day I'm just trying to get through the day so I can clock out and go home. I could really do without complicating things by saying "I'm Owen Brendan Larkin."