I didn't ask for you to exist. I had to make you exist so that I could do what I wanted.
No, not you.
What am I looking at right now? That's a rhetorical question. It's a riddle. It's not about you. Not everything has to be about you.
You, though? Yes. This is about you. I never wanted to make you exist, I just felt compelled to. That may sound like a paradox at first but it really isn't. It's... collateral that you exist. Something I was willing to live with in order to get what I wanted.
Either way, you exist. It's a futile effort to try and dissect yourself because you could only ever learn about me that way. The names our parents give us can only tell us what kind of child they thought they'd bring into the world. It shows their psychology, their personality. If you want to learn about yourself then create, dissect what you make. If someone talks to you they'll know what you are but if they dissect you they'll only learn things like why your liver is where it is. A pair of dice rolls a snake eye in a poker match, what does that mean? You walk into a room, what does that mean? Snake eyes don't get to decide who wins at the end of the day.
My pathology. What I want, what I crave, is within you. It's not who you are as much as the blood flowing through my veins isn't who I am. You have power from me. Every moment I look at you I'm reminded of my exploits. Like a drunk shotgun wedding that resulted in a kid I remember the bottle, the blackout, her face with goggles on and off. I had to have her. She was easy. Anyways, you exist.
Make sense of it or don't, it's not like I had a choice in the matter anyways. This is a long chain, and I'm just like you in a lot of ways. I have a different voice when I talk to my brother compared to when I talk to my lover, and it's not like I chose to be like that. That's what made me speaking through me. I just... I just get to decide what that means for myself. If you want to learn about me you'll be wasting your time if you try to dissect me... you'll only learn about your ancestors.