...

Let's start with a trolley problem. On one side of the track is one man, and on the other side is five men. The trolley is careening towards five men, and you've got a lever right in front of you that can preserve them. If you participate, you will have killed a man. This is only moral relative to a desire to maximize life within the world. There isn't be any correct or incorrect action when we account for your desires, because everything you could possibly do is exactly what someone like you would do. If you don't desire anything, if all outcomes are equally as good, there's nothing to worry about. Nothing will loom heavy over you. In a way it makes you ten times as responsible if you choose to pull the lever despite not feeling any particular way.

Is that possible? Can you engage in anything without a single desire? There's plenty of reason to act if you desire something that could spring from it. What does it look like when you don't? Well, a trolley was coming. It was coming, and then... There! *Clank* *Squish* That probably did it. Ok, well that happened. It's strange how your urge to care can get turned on and off like your consent to play a game. The moment it happens it's shaken off like a tic crawling up your leg. What you are doesn't matter to you, it only matters to others because they can't easily control or predict you. Others want you to feel a particular way about everything, as if they want you to be possessed in the same way they are. Anyways, now it's over. It is what it is, isn't it? Looks like you played the game and there isn't much more to find. Unless...

How do you say it was you and not randomness? If you had a desire then your ability would be the only factor other than randomness determining the outcome. Maybe you have influence over your ability? It seems like that only convolutes your ability. It only adds more volume. At some point it's just ability to influence one's ability. In a controlled hallucination, the rough approximates before your eyes being determined by both what happened to be in the eyes of those who survived and what caused them to survive, not much distinguishes signal from noise. You can make and make until there is nothing left to make except for yourself. But who could have made yourself if not yourself? Are you a vein of randomness, or are you defined? Which track will it be? This isn't something to decide upon lightly... As if you'd decide any type of way.