What would I tell someone who wants to be the one to discover objective truth? I know objective truth about things that I make, but what if I wanted to not be the only one to know something?
Just... guess, I guess? Do the same thing a bunch of times and hope that it's right one time? I mean, maybe it's the right answer but only before its time? Nobody will believe you until it happens.
Okay, so... I'm really skeptical about The Peer Review Process. It's like this dressing to make things appear more objective in practice, like a board of people going "Yeah, seems legit I guess I'll cite this guy." and then 10 other people cite the same guy because "Nobody who's obviously wrong is going to be cited in ten different papers." I mean, I get it if it's something like a chemistry recipe that yields the same result every single time... but something that requires 100 willing participants of a rare demographic of people to recreate? All they can do is just look at the data they collected relative to the methods expressed in the paper and guesstimate whether or not the factors listed in the paper were the sole factors deciding the outcome of the experiment. In stupid monkey brain terms: "If they say hold rock make man stupid if hit it on head because rock hold man smarts inside it after hitting head then I should be able eat rock make my head smarter after hit it on other man head." And- uh, if it turns out to work out that way... great! But... what if the rock's smarts don't get transferred after eating it? It might be a complete red herring, and it's all down to luck whether or not the people realise they have to ask the rock nicely. Or that it causes brain damage when it strikes people's heads and it just happens to be a lifeless rock, and intelligence is just a social construct for estimating projected memetic reproductive success. Or something like that.
Man... what the fuck is any of this? How could you know for sure? I could just be playing one big goof, one big huge gaff extending a lifetime. Wait, is it a goof or a gaff? Both? I'll need to workshop this.
I like to confuse people. It gives me pleasure. If they're confused about something then that means they're alive, undecided, in limbo... presently aware, yet to conclude. Maybe they never conclude? Maybe they stay confused their whole lives? The art moves while it is being handled. Some day because all of this is unedited and difficult to digest this entire project will take a life of its own just by its sheer magnitude and difficulty. One person may try to concisely describe this in, say, ten minutes. They focus on one thing, or they glance over a lot of things and show what kind of person they are by what they truly care about. Then another person comes along and disagrees with the first person's summary, choosing to focus on a completely different collection of stuff. Or maybe they just give up and say "This person is pure chaos. It's uninterpretable. It's all insanity. There's no meaning to any of this. Let's dive in!"
And then they literally say that so that they can sound witty and clever. You know, I wonder how many people dismiss me as an acid casualty. I mean I've seriously always been like this, believe me. One time I went to school wearing a Christopher Walken mask and I talked to everyone in a Christopher Walken voice because I felt like it. On the last day of 8th grade I stood on the table and shouted that I was pregnant. As a senior I'd bring a pink Hello Kitty guitar to school and play blues on it at the park with my friends. I mean, big difference now is that I'm a lot quieter and I'm not trying to do bits every two seconds but that's just not having energy from working 40 hours a week wiping toilets for the mentally ill. Plus I totally fucked up both of my arms, and I've got a lot of random traumas that make me freeze and shrink into myself when I free associate to them. So now it's just... I hear the first bit of somebody's spiel and I zone out for the rest after I free associate to something fucked up, then I don't want to out myself as someone who wasn't listening by making a joke based on only the first bit. That kind of thing makes someone mightily out of practice. I mostly only ever really show my face here when I'm writing, and when I'm writing where only I can see it I just end up trauma dumping... so now we're here. You guys get a diet soda trauma dump, and I don't get a mental breakdown... deal?