There's something wrong and I can't quite pin what it is.
Quantum suicide research seems to be going swimmingly, I still exist apparently. Of all the things that are impossible for me to know at least my existence isn't one of them... but at what cost? Every time I press this button I don't see anything happening. I don't know who's funding this... Nobody I know says anything happens when I press the button. I think I can take their word for it, they're clearly grasping at straws for why they're here doing this just like I am. I go into the box, I press the button, I come out. I go into the box, I press the button, and then I come out... It's blowing my mind that people got degrees that could help the world only to end up watching me do the same thing over and over again. At least it pays well enough. I think... Honestly, when I have this little a clue of what I'm agreeing to I could be turning down millions if some things ended up being the case. On the face of it though I'm just pressing a button and watching the same thing happen over and over again. Is this some psychology thing? This has got to be some psychology thing.
I'm not sugar coating it when I say that this all could be something really, really wrong. The amount of things that could happen if I press that button... my imagination is running wild. You'd think if it was some kind of psychology thing everybody would be doing screenings and psychological evaluations... nope! They're just here looking busy and I come in and press the button and leave. That's it. No fanfare, nothing more than a "Good morning." or a "Hello.". I don't know what to make of it, it's freaking me out. It's always the quiet people that are doing some of the freakiest stuff, and this is like a whole quiet situation. What are they hoping for when they see me pressing that button? Maybe they don't care about the button and they just want to see how I react to the button? This kind of stuff might be exactly what they're looking for, like they want to drive a person crazy with just one button and they're writing down in their neat documents how many presses it takes to make it happen. If I found out it was just that then I'd probably be a little relieved...
I've read up on Descartes, to the point I know about his crackpot animal spirit theories... I know if I can doubt my existence then I exist. I exist, I am. I can be sure of that at least. But the nature of my existence is something completely up to question. Even things like natural laws are only substantiated because they've never been contradicted, we've never seen them contradicted. I could exist as a self within a big mix of binaries, what is and what isn't... It seems like I might know two or three things then: That I am, that existence exists, and that non-existence exists. If there's no non-existence then it's non-existent after all, so that gives me a trinity to work with. What about that button though? Does that button exist? All I have to go off of is that I've never thought it didn't exist. What about my body? I've never thought that my body doesn't exist. What I think is my body could just be words strung together in another dimension. What I think death is could just be so far off that I'd never know it even if it hit me. What happens when I press that button?