...

I'm not dead. At least I don't think that I'm dead. It's unfalsifiable to claim that I'm in an afterlife indistinguishable from normal life. I was going about my day one time and I might've died, and maybe I came back. It's about as unfalsifiable as saying God both exists, is pantheistic to the point e is simultaneously the toilet I poop in and the poop that I poop into that toilet, and uses unimaginable power to destroy every bit of concrete evidence of that embarrassing reality.

I've almost died a few times. Well, death is a funny thing because even that's a social construct. Many people today consider one's heart stopping to be synonymous with being dead. I've had almost all of my blood replaced before, I've had to have my heart restarted. It's not fun, but every time I just went to where we go when we dream. I don't remember what I dreamt.

It's funny how we consider that being dead. Before humanity learned how to do CPR there were many who considered the heart to be synonymous with one's soul. We still have common sayings like "getting to the heart of the matter" or "they've got good hearts" remaindered from a paradigm shift where language evolved slower than scientific advancement. Now I could get a replacement heart and everyone can recognize that my personality is exactly the same as it was prior to surgery, well, plus the experience of the surgery but that's a given. I'd like to think I have the same sense of humor. You could read a post or two from a few years ago and cross reference if you want. I think that the principle difference is just how often I trauma dump, or really how I go about trauma dumping. I've got to make a post sometime about being conditioned like one of Pavlov's dogs to constantly think about trauma in order to drive up engagement. What can I say? It's the most interesting part of my life... I guess? People like drama.

Anyways, point of the matter is, we thought that hearts working properly determined whether or not we were alive... and then we figured out CPR. That complicated things a little. Ever since that we've been considering the mind to be the psyche, a greek word for the soul, and now many consider a brain dead individual a soulless corpse animated by mechanisms. A zombie virus causing brain death and animating one's body is considered to be a biomechanism animating a corpse. I don't think we could have had zombie media before CPR. That's a little hot take I guess.

One day I walked away from this website for over a year. I kept writing unlisted posts- Hey, what if zombies are really the ghosts of brain dead people on life support who have unfinished business that haunt the minds of artists as a way to scream for help? It kinda makes way too much sense when I put it like that... It's like they're saying "This could be you at any moment. One slip up and suddenly you're a mindless body hooked up to a machine." ...all while hoping that someone offs them before their body does something embarrassing before it rots away. That's heavy. But what would happen if we discovered that we could do brain transplants that retain personality? What if we collectively started placing the soul elsewhere? I don't think that very many people in the past could have predicted CPR and heart transplants working the way that they do. It's unfalsifiable. Some impossible to guess thing that we discover later, causing a paradigm shift in how we interpret the soul. It's already happened before. There's precedent.

I guess I have zombies and mushrooms on the mind because I watched the first three episodes of The Last of Us with my roommate. Do zombies in The Last of Us make out? If you know, you know.

But yeah, I walked away from this website for over a year. I started posting to another website I made with Zonelets that's only on the Internet Archive now. If someone out there snipes the domain "www.overdubs.xyz" they are morally obligated to do something goofy with it. I couldn't figure out how to keep the domain up after a year passed. Their customer support didn't really give me much of anything to work with so honestly I'd go with something like Squarespace next time. Say, what if the domain got sniped by someone who turns it into a virus thing, then I try and look it up to snapshot it one boring night and then I get a virus designed specifically for me... Man, people are the worst sometimes. Can't we just get along so that we can have fun?

I think that I still get it, but maybe that's just me being a victim to the joke I was trying to tell. Maybe there's two different jokes here, vying for attention... Is there two jokes within me? I can only ever see one at a time. I can only ever laugh one laugh at a time. Is this just layers upon layers? What layer am I on if I'm referencing this? I'm probably wasting my ti- Shit. I got me.