I genuinely don't know if I'm ever truly private whenever I open up stuff like pornhub. The part of my brain that denies all of the strange stuff that just messes with me at a gut level always dismisses that stuff for a brief little while whenever I go on to tug out. Often times I'll be doing completely normal things and the notion of 'this would be an inopportune time to have an erection' pops up in my head as a joke and that leads me down a rabbit hole of following another notion of 'could whatever that is watching me be studying my groin intensely for signs of movement right now?' which just leads me to picturing a lot of people staring at my junk so I get me an erection anyways. 

After that happens a spike of adrenaline makes me quit spacing out and actually process what I'm looking at then I start to have a mini panic attack thinking 'what if people think I'm into that?' and doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to shrink the dink ASAP. There is absolutely no throughline for when this stuff happens. I could be watching shit that's as random as modular synth clips all the way to some gory horror movie clips. This shit is really weird man. Now I feel kinda worried that by outlining stuff as specific as that out of the grab bag people might look at it like a Freudian Slip kind of deal. 

Some of those synths do be lookin' fine though...

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